Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize