the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
