i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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