I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
And then my night got REAL pukey
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
