She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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