grandma shit on top of the toilet
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
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