it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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