I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
She swung at the pinata with crutches
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
