I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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