She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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