tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
