Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
