I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize