TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
