I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize