I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
tell me about the fingering
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
