Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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