peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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