? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
My pussy is not your playground.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
