I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
