I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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