I wannas sexs uuuuu
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
