Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
