ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I smell like Dick and happiness
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