There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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