just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
