I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
