sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
My vagina is very pro this idea
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
