Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
