can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
