Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
