You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
