it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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