I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize