I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
