Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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