go do what you do best...puke behind churches
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
