This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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