i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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