So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
