If i come over, it means nothing
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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