jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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