just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
