my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
