At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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