Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I smell like Dick and happiness
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
