it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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