Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
