you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
