it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
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