I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize