but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
