Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize