Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
