"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
