Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
