okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
