Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
