It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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