they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Please, let me fuck your mom
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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