So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
