Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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