Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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