4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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