Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I love you. Go after that dick
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
